With nothing else to do, I have succumb to the urge to nest.

It’s OK if you laugh hysterically. I am finding it pretty funny myself that the universe decided to take the least domestic person it could find, give her a negative net worth, get her pregnant and give her urges to decorate.

What follows is a gratuitous collection of completely impractical things I have done to make baby’s half of the room a little more fun.

I may or may not be nursing my child in a pillow-padded office chair. Hey dual use, and it matches!

CraigsList dresser/changing table in awesome shape for $50. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the fantastic thing that happens when you become a CraigsList troll.

Monkey wall decals courtesy of the kind-hearted Stephanie Scurlock. She offered a spare gift certificate at the exact moment my mental sanity needed a pick-me-up. Not only is it exactly what I wanted, but seeing it on the wall also reminds me of a friend’s caring. The floating shelves are $5 blank wood name plates from the Michael’s toll painting section attached with a $3 pack of L brackets. Bevelled edges and everything looks pretty snazy. Sneaky sneaky.

The mobile was the biggest pain in my posterior possible. The afternoon it took to make deserves a whole post to itself. But just to spite it, I’m not going to give it one. Neener neener inanimate object! The frame of fake jungle ferns suspended by hemp supports several strands of tissue paper flowers and paper leaves. I essentially wanted something to both liven up the room and distract my cranky child in the event of an unplanned awakening. Hopefully he will be ADD just like his … ohh, llama. 😉

Oh, the bassinet. My favorite part of our home hands down. Once upon a time, my husband slept inside it’s hand-crafted frame. His milkaholic ways quickly grew him out of it and into a grown man who will be bringing his own baby home now. When he was still just a punch monkey in his mother’s tummy, David’s dad carefully cut and measured each piece of wood and built the bassinet.  It’s just larger than your average basinet, so we plan to get as much mileage as we can out of it.Thanks grandpa Glenn for letting us use it.

The closet organizer. $16 at Walmart. Yes, it was on the clearance table, the box barely strapped together with packing tape. But after dusting off the grass remnants from the last owner, it was in perfect shape. I am soooooo thankful that it is already filled with a decent stockpile of diapers and clothes from my mom. Our child will have a safe place to poo, and when he performs that task a little too well, he will have several cute options to keep him clean and stylish 🙂

TMI? Well, you asked for it people.

The third trimester is officially in full swing and enough has changed that a little update is in order.

How are ya feeling these days?

Like a whale! Previously nausea kept me from running, jumping and playing like I used to. Now, my expanding belly’s simple mechanics are getting in the way. But, oh I will take anything other than that crazy nausea! Other than that, I’m just super tired all the time.

Any stretch marks with that big belly?

Nope! Knock on wood.

Craving anything in particular?

Frozen grapes ROCK MY WORLD!

How did that gestational diabetes test turn out?

Beautifully! No problems on that front. But the little man still doesn’t seem to like milk (ironic if you know his dad), ice cream or too many sweets – he hucks them right back up.

Alright, but you must at least have cankles and swollen hands, right?

Nope. 🙂 Rings are still on and shoes are still fitting OK. However, my shifting center of balance is making the stilettos an adventure.

So what ARE your symptoms?

That big belly has finally reduced my bladder to the size of a pea (I belong in a pun-itentiary). For a few weeks, I also had the pleasure of imitating an old man when I got up off the couch by groaning, “Oh my sciatica!” But an active lifestyle has nipped that in the bud. I am a hottie, in the most literal sense. Hormones have boosted my internal temps to near nuclear.  The heartburn is killer and bananas seem to set it aflame. I am super tired these days and I seriously cannot wait to meet this little one. It’s either hormones or motherhood kicking in, but that little punch monkey in my tummy has become the center of my world.

Dish on all the crazy moments:

My bulbous belly now attracts the random crazy in the grocery store who wants to touch it. The “belly feelers” who are missing at least one tooth and have at least one nose ring happen to be endowed with this great gift of knowing my baby’s gender (it’s a girl in their opinion). The kicks have become so strong that I can wake up the huz with a nice belly snuggle. 🙂 And I officially waddle.

Our simple nursery is coming together as well. Pics coming soon!

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It’s getting real around here folks!

Now to answer all your burning questions:

1. Showing much yet?

Judge for yourself 🙂

2.  How’s the nausea?

Meh, not bad. I still have my moments but thankfully the “throne worship” has decreased to about once a day.

3. Is he moving?

Um, is he ever NOT moving? I was so excited about the little tiny kicks that I downloaded a kick counter app on my phone. I have since thrown in the towel even trying to track them now. He seems to do a little belly jig (lots of little kicks) on average about five or six times a day. Whacked his daddy in the head one night while he was trying to listen. That was fun. They are still those sweet little (non-painful) butterfly kiss kind of kicks. But Dave is pretty sure he felt something! Early mornings, just before bed and after I eat seem to be his favorite times to play. Wonder if that is foreshaddowing anything …

4. Are you going to get stretch marks like everyone else?

I hope not! At least they aren’t showing up yet. Come on Palmers CoCo Butter, don’t let me down!

5. Weight gain?

Yes, it has happened. I have gained almost 15 lbs. Fifteen more and I will be the fattest I have ever been my whole life. Don’t ask. Sophomore year of college was hell.

6. Names?

None. Not even close. Still haven’t even discussed it yet.

7. Alright, dish on all the crazy preggers lady moments …

I claim that my crazy moments are not entirely my own fault. Babies suck the brains right out of ya! There have been a few moments when I feel about as intelligent as Jessica Simpson during her famous “Chicken of the Sea” incident. If you have been on the receiving end of one of my many insensitive brain fart moments, I sincerely apologize. Sometimes I sit back and think, did I really just say that? Just know that I love you and anything insensitive was completely unintentional. 🙂